Dont Cry James

was RPing with my beloved *drummerladybourdon the other day and it was so heartbreaking ;_; heres some to show you all how much


T: *cuddles into J for a while, content and happy then stretches and yawns* Mmm, I think ima have a bath *kisses nose and stands up, looking over shoulder* wanna join me?

J: *chuckles* i'll just watch.

T: *smirks and bends to kiss lips* suit yourself handsome *strips off shirt and rests it on J's lap and saunters into bathroom*

J: *sits drops it into the dirty laundry hamper, gets some things before following in*
J: *waits until he's ready and soaking in the tub before lighting two short fat vanilla scented candles, turning the bathroom light off, sits beside the tub*

T: *watches from bath with a small smile as J lights candles and turns off light, stretches out dry hand and touches leg* you probably got something better to do than be bored here with me, i heard some of the guys are having a movie night, you should go if you want.


J: *leans over side of tub, rests head on arms, curly hair falling into face slight* sokay, it's been awhile since we've had some time to ourselves

T: *smiles and stretches out, brushing hair away from brow* I know, but as much as i just want to keep you all to myself i know i shouldn't be selfish. *leans forward and kisses* you're so amazing...everyone wants to share you..

J: *hummed chuckle, kisses back of each knuckle, nuzzling tip of nose against masculine but elegant fingers* right now i'm only interested in my cupcake

T: *chuckles and moves hand, cupping cheek and bringing faces together, kisses innocently* then come in here with me. *small smile* I'll be good, promise

J: *happy content sigh out, gets up and undressed, slipping inside the massive tub behind him, takes a rag and runs along the milky skin of his back, kissing along shoulder in light airy kisses*

T: *grins broadly in triumph and snuggles happily between J's legs, feeling his hands and clothe on his back and moans at the gentle kisses, hand stroking j's leg*

J: *chuckles hearing the moans, lips nip and suckle as far down spine as can reach before turning back around and back on to shoulder, nuzzles tip of nose against neck*

T: *giggles and looks over shoulder, turning around in bath so stomach and groins are flush and takes clothe from J, stroking his chest and now kissing from his jaw to collar*

J: *blinks a little surprised but settles and relaxes, peering at t's face as he works, soft, curious once more* ...what does it feel like to you...loving someone after thinking for many years that you never would fall in love?

T: *pauses and gnaws lip, still stroking along chest* I-I'm not sure.. *pauses for some seconds and starts to Js chest, not meeting eyes* I always used to say....i didn't wanna fall in love...but i think i was just always afraid that whoever i gave myself to wouldn't love me back...and i was terrified...

T: *still not meeting J's eyes* now...I'm less scared...i never realized how afraid i was of that...but it feels right.... *smiles to J* it feels perfect and i wouldn’t change this for the world


J: *sees that he's not meeting gaze, gives a soft understanding smile, leans in and presses a warm three second kiss to lips before pulling back once more*

T: *eyes flicker shut and kisses back, feeling J pull away* what about u? I mean...how did you feel about love?

J: *purses mouth in thought too, peering down at the bubbles, takes some and puts it on tony's head in a makeshift crown, smiles at the sight* i felt like i didn't deserve it
J: not having it from my parents...made me think that there was something wrong with me...so i figured...whatever they saw...whatever made them stay away, other people saw too
J: but then as i got older and there were girls always asking me out...i shied away from them, thinking i just wasn't meant to be loved

T: *eyes widen hearing J talk, stretches out and cups cheeks, thumb stroking tenderly, talks in little more than a breathy whisper*


T: James....*rubs thumb under his lip and bites own, suckling on piercing* please dont ever feel that way, don’t ever feel like you dont deserve the best in the world, *feels a mixture of sadness that J ever felt like that and anger at his parents* your parents never deserved you, if they couldn't realize how...how amazing and special you were...are...then they dont deserve you at all...

J: *peers at tony, very still, sadness in eyes making him look like the lost little boy he once was, slow nod*

T: *heart breaks completely witnessing the sadness in those amber, almost tearful hues and moves hands so resting upon his chest, feels James' heart thudding dully and bits his lip, taking James' hand in his own

T: *whispers* feel this...*presses J's palm to his chest, feeling thundering heart* everything there, every ounce of love or affection is for you, my heart beats only for you James...there are a bunch of guys, our closes friends who all...adore you and think you're amazing, I dont understand what could possess any person, especially your parents to ever see anything other than the incredible, beautiful person you are...but they really dont deserve you J, they dont deserve anything from you....

J: *swallows past tight throat, closes eyes, never really talks about his parents for obvious reason, loses control of the careful composure has always had, but hearing words from the person who loves him the most makes heart shatter into tiny pieces and tears slip past closed lids and down face*
J: *wraps arms around tony, body tangibly shaking that tony can feel, buries face in his shoulder as body shakes with muffled sobs*

T: *heart breaks and winds one arm around J's body, other hand tangling in his hair, holding him close, bodies flushed as he cradles the only man he'll ever love, closing his eyes and burying his face in J's hair, hushing him, singing softly as never was very good with words or advice
J: *sings softly* ...and I will love you, baby...always...And I'll be there forever and a day, always...I'll be there till the stars don't shine...till the heavens burst and the words don't rhyme...and I know when I die, you'll be on my mind...and I'll love you...Always

J: *starts to hyperventilate, breathing coming in quick shaky gasps, focuses on the sound of tony's voice and calms down to the point where just feels all energy gone, forehead stuck to his shoulder, eyes closed*

T: *quivers as silent tears run down his cheeks, never saw J upset like this and breaks his heart, wishes desperately could do something to help his love but just holds, no longer singing but lightly kissing along his hair and forehead, holding him in a strong, protective grip*

J: *doesn't say anything, but calms even with every loving touch feels, waits patiently until he's ready to get out, in no hurry*


T: *just holds J close, not dreaming of letting go, never wants to let go but backs slightly, cupping J's cheeks and stroking skin with thumb, whispers* how are you feeling?

J: *peers up with him with puffy red eyes, weak smile* drained...but...better

T: *leans in and kisses tenderly* i hope you know...you dont have to put a front around me J? obviously this was bothering you....and if you need to talk...or just cry or...anything, please...I'm here, i love you, more than i could ever express with words or actions...and Im going to be by your side for a long time *small laugh* so you can talk to me...

J: *soft nod, pulls him into a tight hug* i know cupcake.
J: i trust you.

T: *holds J close* I'm glad, i love you so much J, you're my whole life now, i just want you to be happy

J: there's only one person...ok...two, but the second one is unobtainable...one person...who makes me happy

T: *chuckles* well assuming Rob Bourdon is number two...i can only hope number one is a certain Irish boy who is utterly crazy about you

J: *wide smile, nuzzles face against his* you know me so well

T: *chuckles and kisses cheek, finishes washing suds from hair and steps out of bath, offering hand to J and wrapping a towel around his lover, kissing his lips softly* you wanna sit down and i get you something hot to drink..or something?

J: *dries off both himself and tony, taking his hand, lacing fingers together, leads over to bed, crawling under the silk sheets, holds tony as if he were a giant teddy bear*